Planning Your Wedding: The Mi10 Biggest Pre-Weddingstakes

Even the smartest, most on-top-of-things couple can make mistakes during wedding planning. Here are the 10 things you should keep an eye on before saying I do.
1. Blowing off your budget
It costs a lot of money to put on a wedding. Many excited brides start booking vendors and making purchases without having a real budget, and then they're shocked to discover they've spent all of their money (or their parents' money) and still don't have half the things they need. If you bounce checks, don't have the money to pay your deposits, or make your final payments past your vendors' deadlines, your wedding will not happen as you have planned. The flowers won't be delivered, your cake will not be decorated, and the band will not play all night -- unless you pay up. Planning a wedding is serious business. Make a budget and keep track of your expenditures.
2. Ordering the wedding gown and/or bridesmaid dresses late
If going for a traditional bridal gown, brides need to place their orders six to eight months before their weddings. Most gowns are made to order; if you wait too long before your wedding date to make your selection, the gown simply may not be ready in time. Bridesmaid dresses should also be decided upon during the same time period, but only after the gown has been selected. You want to make sure your ladies have enough time to get measured and find accessories.
3. Procrastinating on that prenuptial...
It is a reality these days that people -- even brides -- have assets they want to protect. (This is particularly prevalent now that there are so many second marriages where a bride or groom may have children to whom they want their assets to go in case of death.) Leaving the discussion of a prenuptial agreement until the week before the wedding is a sure-fire way to increase the stress level by ten thousand percent -- and endanger the impending marriage. So deal with this potentially sticky issue months in advance (Zawaj.com Editor: this applies equally to any provision that the groom or bride may want to include in the marriage contract).
4. Messing up the marriage license
There are so many rules around marriage licenses that brides are bound to make mistakes. Be sure to investigate time restrictions well in advance of your wedding date. Get your license 31 days before in some states -- and you won't be able to legally marry on your wedding day because it may be valid for only 30 days. Go for your license the day before your wedding and you may not get it in time, because some states have a 48-hour waiting period. Another common mess-up if you're remarrying is not having official divorce papers in time to get the certificate.
5. Booking guest hotel rooms too late
Brides often leave blocking out hotel rooms for out-of-town guests until the last minute. If you're marrying in a city (particularly one where conventions take place) or in a resort town and you don't investigate hotel availability in advance, you can literally end up with not a single room for any of your guests to stay in. Your wedding might go on -- but no one will be able to attend. Reserve a room block as early as possible, up to a year in advance.
6. Inviting too many guests
Make sure your guest list and your reception site match numbers-wise. You can't invite 400 people assuming only 250 will RSVP with a yes -- because if 300 happen to say yes, you may have to turn 50 away at the door. Sites can't just add 10 more tables, as fire laws limit the maximum number of people in any room at one time. To avoid this, assume eighty percent will respond yes and limit your guest list accordingly.
7. Last-minute beauty blunders
Many brides think that scheduling chemical peels the week before their weddings will leave their skin looking angelic on their big days. Others think having their teeth bleached within days of their weddings will leave those pearly whites sparkling. Thinking of tanning the day before your wedding? Think again: You may end up with blisters instead of sun-kissed skin. Last-minute beauty treatments can lead to breakouts, mistakes, or -- even worse -- serious infections. Start a long-term beauty regimen months before the big day and focus on natural and common-sense measures such as eating a healthy diet and exercising, or you could risk ruining all the hard work you've done to make your wedding -- and photos -- perfect. (Never mind putting your health and happiness at risk for the most important day of your life.)
8. Underpaying postage on invites
You'd be surprised how many brides just stick a stamp on their invites and drop them in a letterbox. All but a few wedding invitations require additional postage. The postal service will not take pity on you -- your invites will be returned (and rubber-stamped with that ugly "insufficient postage" message) -- and it will take at least two weeks (never mind the additional $$) to get them back out the door. Be sure to get one complete invitation weighed at the post office before purchasing all your stamps.
9. Ignoring religious restrictions
If you plan on marrying in a house of worship, you need to abide by the rules. Wearing inappropriate attire or not completing pre-wedding requirements is grounds for your officiant to stop your wedding before it begins. As soon as you get engaged, be sure to contact your house of worship to find out about any potential issues. Some houses of worship won't let you marry on certain holy dates; make sure to check your wedding date with your officiant before putting down any deposits for your reception site or vendors.
10. Ignoring weather warnings
Brides marrying outdoors often test fate and just wish for the best when it comes to bad weather. Always have a backup plan -- you may not have a place to marry at all, or your guests (and you) may be in misery at the hands of Mother Nature. Temperatures normally around the balmy 70-degree mark may unexpectedly turn into a boiling 100-degree debacle; be sure to have outdoor air-conditioning. A hurricane, flashflood, or gale force winds may visit on your wedding day; make sure you have an interior alternative or a tent as a back-up location.

8 General Tips for a Muslim Wedding

There are plenty of things to consider in wedding planning and arrangement. These are a few things which are either unknown or forgotten:
1. Invite the poor
According to one Hadith, the worst meal is the feast of a Walima in which rich people are invited and poor people are left out.
Don't let your Walima be a class-based affair. Make sure that all guests are welcome, regardless of their economic situation.
2. Invite a multiethnic audience
Make your wedding party more representative of the Ummah (the worldwide Muslim community) by inviting Muslims of different ethnic backgrounds, whether it's the local Imam and his family who are Turkish, the African-American Muslima who accepted Islam recently or the Lebanese family in your neighborhood.
3. Practice gender privacy at your wedding
This means providing women-only space where sisters who observe different levels and types of Hijab feel comfortable.
Most sisters like to dress up for a wedding, but they want to enjoy themselves without being watched by strange men. Also remember that your other guests have nothing to lose with this kind of set up so in the end, providing for women-only space works out for the best for everyone.
There are different ways to accommodate women-only space in a hall.

• You can have separate rooms for men and women. This is the ideal solution for maximum privacy.
• You can have a room in which there is a curtain or a row of tall plants.
• In larger halls, you can make two distinct areas.

If your family tradition is not to have weddings arranged in this way, consider this: you will Insha Allah (if Allah wills) receive Allah's blessings if you do so for seeking to accommodate your guests and trying to observe an Islamic practice which has been in place for about 1400 years.
In programs where women-only space is provided, children need to be divided up between parents. Older boys should stay with their dads. Older girls stay with mom. Young girls who are toilet trained can also go with dad.
It should also be remembered that professional photographers can violate the privacy of individuals by taking photos or videos without their consent. If you are taking photos or videos make sure not to include non-relatives or those who do not want their picture taken.
4. Set up a hospitality line
This is a line of hosts who will welcome guests when they arrive at the wedding.
Those who will be included in the hospitality line need to be told in advance that they will be part of it. They should not be told once they reach the hall for the wedding.
5. Have the hosts make rounds during dinner
When guests are digging into dinner, hosts should go around, making sure everyone has what they need and inviting those who are finished to take more.
6. Set the stage
It should be decided by the hall committee who will sit on stage at the wedding and exactly where. This has to be done carefully. The feelings of relatives and close family friends are important to consider when making decisions about this.
7. Make sure to set up a gift table
Where are you going to put all those goodies? Set up a specific gift table near the stage with a sign saying "Please put gifts here. Thank you."
8. Mind the bathrooms
Take into account how many guests are coming and see if the washrooms at the hall are big enough. If it's a large gathering, request hall administrators to have a cleaning person come in every half hour or so to clean up quickly in between.
Also, if one of the prayers occurs during the wedding, that means the washrooms will be used for Wudu (ablution before prayer). Ask the hall administrators to accommodate this by providing extra paper towels.
9. Avoid making unnecessary announcements
Avoid making unnecessary announcements of any sort during the program and keep the microphone close by so children do not mess around with it.